Calm Waters

Navigating Parenting: Do you have a GPS?

Welcome to another Metaphor Monday!

Global positioning systems otherwise known as GPS,  are great for guiding us to where we need to go when driving, canoeing, hiking, or whenever you are on route and need some direction to your destination.   If you are going in the wrong direction the GPS will give an alternative route based on where you are, underlining the fact that there is more than one way to get to where you want to go.  The GPS will guide you by telling you what direction to go.  Even if you veer off path it works with you, readjusts to your new position and tells you an alternative route.

Of course you still have to know what your final destination is in order for the  GPS  to tell you where to go.  Also, like any tool, you have to know how the GPS works or it’s essentially useless. Like any tool, it’s only as good as the confidence or competence of the user.

Your children won’t trust you if you don’t trust yourself.

Same goes for parenting tools, used the right way they can really help in situations with your children, however if you are not confident in what you are doing, then it undermines your approach with your children. Your children won’t trust you if you don’t trust yourself.

For parents, GPS then can stand for something else, say a “Guidance Parenting System“.  I truly believe that parents have the tools that they need right inside, their own internal GPS.  All the parenting advice in the world can not replace what you already know deep inside. In that sense parenting tools are not really about showing you how to parent,  but they should guide you to connect with that inner wisdom. Sometimes as parents we may have blocks that get in our way of parenting intuitively.  These blocks mean we need to make detours or  plow through otherwise we will be stuck.  Whether that be stuck in the old parenting styles of our parents or stuck in a newly adopted style that we have been told is the “right” way but somehow doesn’t feel right.   Often this means that things from our past may need to be addressed or thrown out of the way in order to get to that inner wisdom of how to parent our children.

 The trick of  course is uncovering our internal tools, many of which may be buried under piles of dust or self doubt.

So like using a GPS, in parenting we need to map out where we want to go with our parenting. Do we want it to lead somewhere pleasant? Do we want to take an easy route, quick convenient?  Do we want it to be scenic and enjoyable?  To find our way to the final destination of intuitive parenting we need to trust ourselves that we are capable of finding and using those inner guidance systems that we were all born with.  The same ones that made us desire to be parents in the first place even if it was only after your child was born and you looked into their eyes.  The trick of  course is uncovering our internal tools, many of which may be buried under piles of dust or self doubt.  Sometimes this is not so easy to do, and just as one needs to learn how to use a GPS one may also need to learn how to navigate their way through the internal roadblocks that keep you from connecting with your inner wisdom.

…..everything you need is right inside of you, parenting doesn’t come with a manual because we all have a built in guidance system right inside of us.

A good place to start is to look at the way you currently parent. Here are some questions to get you started:

• How alike or different is your parenting style from the way your parents parented you?

• Does your current parenting style feel like it is a “fit” to who you are as a person?

• Do your current parenting ways make you feel like you are headed in the right direction towards an intuitive parenting that feels right for you and your children?

• Does parenting feel enjoyable for the most part?

  Take some time and explore these questions and really look at the feeling rather than any judgemental thoughts that may pop up.  If the feeling doesn’t feel right or the way you want it to, then getting some support to navigate towards that feeling you want may be all it takes.  After all, everything you need is right inside of you, parenting doesn’t come with a manual because we  all have a built in guidance system right inside of us.