A few years back, my sons  made up a club between them that I have to remind myself of whenever there are sibling spats.  They call their club “Super Heroes’ Club” and designate their stuffed animals as super heroes who earn powers every time they do something helpful or good amongst themselves.  It seems to give them a sense of control over their lives as well as a feeling of being special and appreciated.  They take the assignment of super hero powers seriously to the point that my youngest gets upset if his toys have not earned as many powers as his brother’s toys.

 

A few months back when my youngest was having difficulty following routines my eldest suggested that it may help him if we said that every time he did his routine one of his “guys” earned another super power. While my youngest didn’t go for it I thought it was a pretty innovative idea on the part of my son. I could tell he had really put some thought into coming up with a solution (this was during one of our family meetings).  Likely my youngest wanted to maintain some sense of control over the the super hero rules not to mention that he probably wanted to keep the pretend and real stuff separate for simplicity sake of course.

 

This got me thinking about how kids aren’t the only ones who need some sort of recognition that they are doing well. Sometimes as parents we need some encouragement or a “prize” to feel appreciated and keep us going. After all aren”t we by the very definition of being a parent super heroes? Don’t we deserve some recognition of our hard work? Everyone needs to hear that they are doing well and that they are appreciated. The trick as parents is to read between the lines to hear the appreciation. But sometimes we need to hear it loud and clear.  And like my sons’ super hero club where they basically toot their own horn about how great they are, there is no reason that as adults we shouldn’t sing our own praises, why wait for outside recognition when we are quite capable of giving it to ourselves.  Yes its true you can praise yourself, you just may need a little practice since in this society we are socialized to wait for praise, even strive for praise outside of ourselves instead of giving ourselves what we need.

 

 

So today I invite you to announce to the world what you deserve recognition for as a parent. No need to be shy.  What have you done well that you are proud of?  I know its hard, perhaps even out of the ordinary for some of you to sing your own praises.   To give you a little encouragement,  I will send a special gift MP3 of The Inspired Parent Affirmation Meditation to your inbox to every parent who joins in and announces at least one thing to the world that makes you a superhero parent  (note this is a one time thing, you will not be signed up for our monthly newsletter or list automatically, but you are welcome to do so by filling out the form in the top right corner if it calls to you!).  Take the chance now and share with others your proud moments.

18 Responses to “Super Hero Club: More Lessons From Our Children”

  • Vera:

    today in the rediculous heat I stood over the stove and cooked my kids an enormous stack of Dutch pancakes. This was after a week of 3 hour nights. And I managed to do it with a smile (mostly) on my face!

    My reward for this is that I will take the kids upstairs in a bit with the laptop and watch a movie in my bed 🙂

    • Wow! Fantatsic Vera. The best part is I bet your kids really enjoyed them (that’s the appreciation)! it sounds like you have a great little system of self-care happening there- I’m sure the mindfulness helps especially with such little sleep. Thanks for sharing!

  • Last night my little family went to a great nature center near our house. I thought we would do some stuff in the center and walk around the gardens. Our 2 year old had another idea. He took off down the longest hiking trail–up and down, up and down. Even though I had a big project to work on at home, we went with it.

    And my husband, who is a superhero stay at home dad, carried the little hiker the last half mile! When we got to the car he said, “This was not a moderate trail with an extra 30 pounds!”

    I learn so much about myself as a woman and mom in these little ordinary experiences, which would be so easy to ignore.

    • Thank-you Miram for sharing that. It’s so nice when we are able to let go of our agendas and just be in the moment with our kids. Yours is a wonderful example of this. Bravo to both you and your husband for just going with the flow! Its wonderful that you noticed and allowed these experiences to unfold with your 2 year old!

  • I am the Octopus Lady! Ever since I’ve had kids, I have grown at least 6 new arms. When my second daughter was at the age where we started feeding her, I calculated that for her, I needed to have 8 arms: 1 for the spoon, 2 to hold each of her hands away from the spoon, 1 to keep the bib around her neck (which she tried to pull off all the time), 1 to hold the dish (she was trying to throw it around), 2 to keep her hands out of the dish, and 1 to hold in front of my face in case she spits everything out. Extra arms also come in handy when you carry shopping and a sleeping kid home from the car and you still need to lock the car up and unlock the door of your house, or when 3 kids have accidents at the same time. Or when you’re paying in a shop, packing up your goods and catching an escaping toddler at the same time.

    Or is the octopus lady an Indian Goddess and no superhero…?

    • Hey, hey Octopus Lady super hero love it!! Sounds like your super hero strength is great patience, diligence and the ability to forsee the many needs of your children, while embracing them wholeheartedly. Lovely! Many thanks for sharing your Octopus powers here Stephanie!

  • Meg:

    Ooh! How about this one?
    This spring when Xander got the stomach flu, I caught his puke in a towel every time because he wouldn’t puke in a bucket. But hey, it was a step up from *last* year, when he would only puke on me. Yup. On. Me. I went through more shirts that week… *shudder* But I held him close every single time because he needed me, that that was more important than ick-puke-ick.

    Also, these days, I think I qualify as a superhero parent for hearing my almost-3-year-old yell “I HATE YOU, MUMMY!” and being able to respond, “I know you’re angry with me, honey, but I love you no matter how you feel about me.” I went through a phase where I fought against a very visceral reaction to his anger, but I’m learning to see the pain and the motivation behind the “bad behaviour” and meet it with compassion. It must suck to be almost-3, after all.

    • Sounds like you have superhero reflexes for sure! That’s a wonderful superhero quality to be able to put your own feelings aside (not take it personally) and be able to focus fully on your son’s needs! Compassion indeed is an important superhero quality. Thanks for sharing your superhero powers Meg!

  • Mel:

    I know in the grand scheme of things this doesn’t sound like much, but as a parent who likes to pretend that I have everything under control whenever we have visitors come around, it was a big thing for me. My three daughters were enjoying a rare warm, sunny winters day outside and wanted to paint. It was my father-in-laws birthday so we had all the family coming for afternoon tea and I really needed to be inside cleaning up and getting things ready. But as I got the paints ready and we picked fairy pictures to paint, I suddenly had a desperate desire to be with my kids, playing in the paint and enjoying the sun. So when the time came and our visitors arrived, they walked into a messy house with no food prepared, but a very happy little family who had spent the day creating and enjoying just being with each other. The bonus – my father-in-law got some lovely pictures from his grand-daughters as a present!

    • I would say in the grand scheme of things this was quite a super-hero feat that you accomplished! I think a lot of parents find it hard to let go and have fun with their kids especially when there are things to get done and we feel pressure whether from ourselves or others to do things a certain way. Bravo for you for following your intuition and following that desire to be with your kids. It sounds like such a wonderful day you all had in the end!

  • Pam Rosal:

    I garden with a friend of mine (her name is Marnie) who sells her produce at a farmer’s market. My 8 year old daughter is fascinated by the fact that Marnie works for herself and basically sets up her own store every weekend (it’s just like a lemonade stand!). She’s been asking to go to market with Marnie one morning to work. I’ve been a bit hesitant but two days ago my daughter took matters into her own hands. She discussed with and made an arrangement with Marnie to arrive at the farmer’s market an hour early to help set up and arrange flowers. She informed me that she could ride her bike there herself. So, I just decided to stay out of the way. She got herself up at 6:30 in the morning, was out the door to ride the 1.5 miles to the park where the market is and she stayed there for most of the morning arranging flower boquets and generally being helpful and having fun. What a delight to watch her work the real magic of making an idea into reality.

  • Leah:

    I’m proud of how I’m learning on the fly as a new mom and how I’ve managed to do a bit of creating too! 🙂

    • Ahh yes Leah! It is quite the balancing act one has to do as a superhero parent: meeting your baby’s needs as well as your own needs as a new parent and an individual with your own needs. Good for you! Self-care (taking time for yourself to create) is a very important superhero power to possess, as ultimately it gives you the strength to take care or your little one.

  • Hiya Darlings. Woh. Feeling very inspired by you all and your super human feats. Me, as a superhero, I was cooking and baking every meal and snack for my little girl, to be gluten free (before GF was mainstream). And a year of cooking everything while being pregnant and then attached twith my then newborn son. My Dd had stopped growing and docs were pushing lots of drugs and things that just didn’t feel right in my mama gut. I went against the grain (literally in her diet AND against docs) and put her on a gluten free diet for 2 years–even though no doc said that would help her. After 2 years, her growth resolved, and her hormone levels rose to “healthy” level. She is growing, but is very petite “for her age”. Small AND mighty, I proudly tell her.

    Listening to our own intuition–esp if it’s counter to others and/or conventional medicine– taught me a lot about how to be the best mama I could be for my monkeys. It took courage, many tears, pain and worry, but trusting my inner voice has made all the difference to her and to me as a mama.

    • How very brave of you Becky to go “against the grain” and listen to your gut. Your daughter is very lucky to have such a wonderfully strong superhero mom! It is sometimes hard to hear our inner voice over all the noise that is out there in the big world, bravo for you!

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