Archive for November 2011


 

O Winter! ruler of the inverted year, . . . I crown thee king of intimate delights, Fireside enjoyments, home-born happiness, And all the comforts that the lowly roof Of undisturb’d Retirement, and the hours Of long uninterrupted evening, know.

William Cowper

 

We’ve been anticipating the cold weather here lately, with the coming of winter there seems to be a lot of shifts and changes that leave the best of us feeling a little under the weather, with little control over the impending changes:

 

more time spent indoors,

less room to move,

less time in the sun,

more time feeling in the dark,

more time in each other’s space,

less time in “outer” space.

 

I guess that’s why this time of year is a good time to delve into one’s inner world, reflecting on the year past and accepting perceived “good” and “bad”.  Just letting go, in anticipation of what is to come.  This year I plan to do this more formally with my family.  I envision us sitting in a circle on cushions as we listen to the resonating song of the singing bowl.  We each take turns passing our family talking stick around, as we reminisce about the good times had these past 11 months.

 

Yet there are so many things that can pull us in the other direction if we let them.  There is so much glitter and bright lights, that it sometimes becomes distracting.  It’s easy for me to forget to just sit with my family, spending time doing nothing or doing quiet things.

 

It is the time of year that many animals get ready to go into hibernation. Slowing down, resting, rejuvenating.

 

We can learn much from these practices.  The cold can signal us to slow down and take it easy.  With shorter days upon us, resting and relaxing makes sense.  It’s okay.   If  we can give ourselves permission to do “less” we might just find that we are actually doing more for our family.  More time snuggling, more time laughing, more time noticing simple pleasures, more time just allowing things to unfold.

 

The stillness of the approaching winter  can be a reminder to embrace the quiet within.   It is an opportunity to connect with ourselves and our children through nature’s wisdom. An opportunity for our children to experience our connection to nature and what we can learn from her.

 

How will you embrace upcoming change with your family?

 

 

 

 

 

As I sit here stressing, yes stressing over what to write for today’s Metaphor Monday, feeling behind (no video today, sorry) and at a loss of what to write, there it is. Life lessons everywhere indeed. Once again humbled by my struggles.

 

While I don’t exactly like to be stressed about things, I am reminded of how motivating stress can be. Let me clarify, when I was a grade school student , even in high school, I was one of those do your writing assignment at the last minute and get an “A” kind of gal. Yep, I was almost always doing my assignments at the last minute, procrastinating, avoiding until I could not put it off anymore. And it always turned out, for me anyway.

 

Though leaving things until the last minute certainly isn’t for everyone, it speaks to the importance of a little bit of stress to motivate one to move forward. Too much stress of course can be imobilizing. This is not an inviation to push stress upon your self and others, only a call to take notice of it when it is already there.

 

The old addage “No pain, no gain” comes to mind in another way. There has to be just the right amount of discomfort inorder for one to move forward and recieve the gains of doing so. If you just stay put, and don’t stretch beyond your comfort zone then you will of course just stay put, nothing new tried out, no new insights.

 

Applied to parenting it looks something like this: when we see our children struggle with something new or even something they have tried before, sometimes standing back and letting the frustration unfold is the best thing we can do for them. If we do it for them, or jump in too quickly and tell them it doesn’t matter, we do our children a disservice. We rob them of that motivating stress which can push them beyond their presumed limits and show them just what they are capable of.

Taken a step further we can see stress’ role in creating change in our lives as parents too. When we are feeling stressed because of how things are going with our children, whether that be arguements, sibling fights or chaotic routines, it is a good time to step back and figure out what is the gain here? What message is this pain trying to convey? Just as our body gives off physical pain signals when it is injured and needs tending, stress is usually a good indicator and hopefully a motivator to shift some things around with a little tender loving care. We can get sucked into that drama of “woe is me, other families don’t have to go through this“, or we can take a closer look and see what is the underlying message here. What needs to change?

 

It is a balancing act for sure. Knowing when to step in, and when to sit back. Knowing your own levels of tolerance for stress and when you may need some help. I would be lying if I said that there should be no pain. We are human, with emotions that somtimes are like being on rollar coasters. We are human, carrying around that baggage of times past. We are parents, we are learning, we are gaining more life expereince every minute, each day.

 

Be ready for some pain and tears. Be ready to let these go. Be ready to move forward again and gain some peace of mind knowing that every parent every child is human.

 

The Parent Inspiration Toolkit can help you parent through the stress. With guided meditations and expressive arts exercises to ground you and strengthen your connection with your intuitive parent.

How to Avoid Drama

Do you get pulled into your kid’s or other’s drama? Then this week’s parenting metaphor is for you!

Sometimes we just need to not take life so seriously.

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