Archive for March 2011
Today I was reminded of how simple connecting with our children can be. My eldest who was on a silly rampage managed to reign himself in independently and out of the blue came to me for a hug, not because he was upset, not because he was saying “sorry”, just “because”. He actually cooed a little as well. It was very sweet and it gave me that warm fuzzy feeling as well. Now my youngest was watching and said “oh… I guess I don’t get any hugs”. To which I replied “What?! You can have a hug anytime you want, the hug store is always open. ‘Free Hugs’ from mommy and baba (that’s what they call their dad, it’s a Greek thing) anytime.” My eldest chimed in, “yeah open 24 hours a day!” “Yes” I said, and wholeheartedly agreed. Then I was reminded of when we were at Kensington Market for a Pedestrian Sunday (they close the streets to traffic). There was a group of young people wearing signs that said “free hugs”. Remembering that Sunday led me to several ideas that I thought you may want to try out in your family. Here are some ways you can implement the free hug “rule” in your family (of course I know it’s not as If you are currently charging your kids for hugs). The idea is to increase the number of hugs and in turn the connection with your kids, which sometimes gets lost in the day to day busy- ness. Have fun with it and feel free to do your own version,we would love to hear any unique ways you’ve come up with to spread free hugs. Read the rest of this entry »
The other day I came across two stories I had written for each of my two sons to accompany the little stuffed animals I bought for them (hey, that was something, as my husband and I are always saying they have too many stuff toys). Anyway I got them as somewhat of a motivator for the camping trip that we where going to be doing. My eldest son had made some comments about not wanting to do canoe camping and that he’d rather do car camping (which we had gotten away from). I was anticipating that he might protest too much and influence the younger one about going (who seemed to be looking forward to this canoe camping trip). Read the rest of this entry »
So often we approach our children assuming certain things about them based on what we “know” about them, instead of just experiencing them in the moment. Many parents (yes, myself included!) respond to our children based on what we think we know about them. More often than not our assumptions are based on our own experiences and expectations (good or bad) which ultimately colours the way we view our children and their intentions.
How many times have you caught yourself telling your child to stop something you thought they were doing or going to do only to find out that they were intending something else. Being the typical adult living in the future, too often we base our judgment on our prediction, best estimate or expectation of our children. In doing this we loose the present moment. We miss when they shift and change their response or their actions to situations, even if ever so slightly. I have definitely been guilty of that . For example, if I anticipate that my son is going to balk at something I ask him to do, I may ask it in a tone that reflects that I don’t believe he will do it or that I don’t think he will want to do it. What a set up! Of course usually in these cases I get what I expect- complaints, whining, resistance. Read the rest of this entry »
Eighteen years ago, I worked in an agency that helped children who had social and emotional difficulties stemming from their “learning disabilities” (L.D.). At that time I had the opportunity to work with a group of boys who were identified as being “gifted L.D.”. They were an amazing bunch of boys. They had high I.Q. scores in certain areas of their abilities and deficits in the areas specific to their L.D. (which usually translated to being extremely sophisticated with their words on one hand yet socially ackward on the other). Read the rest of this entry »
Over the years I have gone to many yoga classes, taking in the asanas (poses) with my body and mind. With my first and second pregnancy I took a special prenatal yoga class with a wonderfully wise and inspiring yogini who liked to end each class with words of wisdom, quotes, and her own personal stories. I found these personal stories to be inspiring, yet practical for everyday. Isn’t that what we all want? Not some complicated formula on how to raise our children, be good parents or inspired beings. I find stories about life to be practical in this way, they inspire, yet leave room for different scenes to unfold. Read the rest of this entry »